5 Things I Learned in My 37th Year
Today marks my 37th lap around the globe. 37 years. Goodness, that age used to seem so old to me, yet here I am. Although I do feel like I am (slowly) getting wiser as the years pass (and too much of the wisdom was gained the hard way), I often still feel like a child. There's so much to learn... and relearn. Read on for five things I learned this year.
{1} how to say "no"
The decisions you make determine the schedule you keep. The schedule you keep determines the life you live. And how you live your life determines how you spend your soul.
Lysa TerKeurst, The Best Yes, p. 27
In my 37th year, I finally learned how to set boundaries. (See here and here.) I changed my default from "yes" to "no." I learned not to trust my foolish heart when it sang "Yes!" to something wonderful that I couldn't commit to physically, financially, spiritually, or emotionally. Saying "no" in order to keep margin in my schedule and peace in my soul has been nothing short of life-changing. (You'll be able to see one of the benefits when I talk about intentionality with relationships!)
{2} i found a system of reading that works for me
Reading is one of my very favorite pastimes, but, in recent years, I struggled finding time to read. All of my daytime moments could (and can!) easily be consumed by household and homeschool tasks. I'd try to sneak in a chapter or two before bed, but by the time I snuggled under the covers with my book, I often found I was too tired to read and just wanted to go to sleep.
One day, it occurred to me that reading for pleasure during the day isn't totally selfish. In fact, I think it's good for my children to see me reading. So! After the littles are down for quiet time, the big boys and I get cozy in the living room and read together. (If it's a cold, blustery day, we'll often add hot cocoa to the equation.)
I decided to read two books at a time: one fiction and one non-fiction. I read the non-fiction book during the afternoon when I have more energy, and I find that a gripping storyline is usually enough to keep my eyes open for at least a chapter or two before bed. I've gotten so much more reading done now that I've adopted this system. So far this year, I've read 27 books!
I'm currently reading North! Or Be Eaten (The Wingfeather Saga) and The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know about Raising Confident, Capable Kids
{3} i'm being more intentional with my time
There is a definite lack of estrogen in my world. I have no sisters, and I was blessed with four beautiful sons. I sometimes feel very lonely for female relationships.
One of the many benefits of saying "no" to good things to make room for the great is that there is (usually) a decent amount of margin in my schedule. (Margin is a great thing in my book!) Even though I'm a natural introvert, I try to accept every invitation I receive if it means I might foster female friendships.
In addition, this past weekend, I carved out a good chunk of my Saturday to spend with my mom. (Big thanks to Dan, who was willing to watch the boys so this could happen!) We watched the Downton Abbey movie and enjoyed a yummy lunch at Panera. My mom and I had such a nice time together. Afterward, I admitted to Dan that I felt a little guilty spending the morning doing "fun" things when there was so much to do at home. (Declutter! Change all of our wardrobes over from spring/summer to fall/winter! Laundry! Meal-plan! Lesson-plan!) BUT! The to-do list could easily take up all of my time, robbing me of what really matters in life: relationships. First with God, then with family and friends. Ten years from now, would I regret not getting our wardrobes changed out soon enough, or would I regret not spending time with my mom? I realized I have to be intentional in carving out time to nurture relationships.
{4} it's ok to accept help
We hired a cleaning company to help with deep cleaning our house every other week. Friends, a substantial weight has been lifted from my shoulders. While making the decision whether or not to make this investment, a dear friend encouraged me: (I'm paraphrasing a bit) "If we don't outsource education, we should try to outsource something else if we can." Amen, sister! I still do plenty of cleaning, and the boys still pitch in with regular chores, but I would encourage any mama who is feeling crushed by all her responsibilities to look into hiring a house cleaner if she can afford it.
{5} apparently, people wear leggings to the gym
On Thursday mornings, my sweet mother watches Theo and Logan, while I take Shane and Conner to homeschool swim lessons. While the boys are swimming, I hustle over to the fitness center and get my sweat on. I know that my Facebook feed probably makes it look like I buy a lot of clothes, but I actually don't. (Well, not all the time, anyway!) My workout gear consisted of some tops from Amazon and loose-fitting shorts I picked up at a garage sale about ten years ago. Well, while I was stretching after my workout, I was hyper-aware of my loose-fitting shorts and paranoid that I was flashing my underwear to the entire room. (I dealt with this ominous feeling by doing a lot of tucking and facing the wall. Oy!)
When I arrived home, it occurred to me that I should figure out what modern people (you know, ones whose workout clothes weren't purchased at a garage sale a decade ago) wear to the gym. Turns out, it's leggings. Duh. If this workout legging thing is a revelation to you, too, I think these are super-cute.
Well, friends, here's to another trip around the globe. I'm so glad you're with me on this journey.
XO,
Kristin
