Let's Talk Style! {Part 1} |
Why I Feel "Meh" about Fashion

I will never be a fashion blogger. Although I do think it is imperative for mothers to practice self-care (and this includes dressing ourselves so we can go out into the world with confidence), fashion is not something I am passionate about. (I should clarify that, going forward, when I speak of being "fashionable" I mean staying on top of current trends. I do not mean dressing in clothes that are clean, functional, and flattering.)

Before I go into my reasons for feeling meh about fashion, I should probably give you an idea of how I typically dress. My "momiform" Monday through Saturday is yoga pants with a long, loose t-shirt. I may try to dress up a bit more--think jeans, a nicer top, and a necklace on Tuesdays (our Classical Conversations community day) and Sunday for church. Otherwise, just call me Yoga Pants McGee. (No, that's awful. Please don't actually call me Yoga Pants McGee.)

I'm sure 0% of you want this information, but here it is anyway. 🙂 tee / leggings

Why my blasé attitude about fashion?

{1} Qu'est-ce que le point? (That's French[ish] for, "What's the point?") I cannot tell you how many of my clothes have been ruined by baby spit-up, carelessly wielded dry erase markers (#boys, #homeschooling), or from cooking oil when I'm preparing dinner. After Theo was born, I bought some very cute and flattering tunics from Nordstrom and subbed them in for my usual t-shirts, just to put forth a bit more effort. I was wearing Theo a lot in his baby carrier at the time, and at the end of the day, I found that the Velcro from his carrier had caused all kinds of damage to the front of my new blouse. Goodwill wouldn't even want it, so it went in the garbage.

I think there will be a time when the boys get a bit older and we're out of the nursing/spitting-up/diaper-changing/food-throwing/clumsy-marker-yielding mess that characterizes life with littles. We will be less housebound (due to naps), and there will be a point. But, for me, that time is not right now.

{2} Dressing fashionably doesn't seem to benefit my family... for the most part. If I'm just staying at home and doing school/hanging with the boys, is it going to benefit them if I am wearing a cute, on-trend outfit? Probably not. If anything, I may be a bit more hesitant to do the things that make me a fun mom (play tag in the backyard, bust out the tubs of Play-Doh, invite them to help me cook or bake, etc.). Do the boys care if I wear my boring "momiform" most days? I don't think so.

As for my husband, I do want to look nice for him, of course. I don't have much reason to dress up except for Dan's and my monthly date nights, which we were in the habit of pre-Theo. When I do make an attempt and ask him how I look (Why do we wives do this?), I typically get an answer somewhere along the lines of, "You look nice, but that [pointing to scarf, boots, necklace, or other trendy item] looks weird." I used to be very hurt by this response, but over our 11 years of marriage, I've learned to translate this in my mind to, "You look nice, and I see that you are wearing something on trend." It makes a happier marriage. 🙂 Dan has also made numerous comments (in jest, I hope) that, if he had his way, he'd dress our kids in grocery bags. In sum, I get the impression that he just doesn't care.

{a} The idea of benefiting my family is why I can embrace home decor vs. decorating myself. I feel like part of my role as a wife and mother is to create a cozy and attractive nest for my family. I'm more willing to put forth the time, effort, money, etc. because it benefits everyone in our household, not just myself.

{b} And just so you don't think I'm all self-sacrificing, the other reason I can embrace home decor vs. staying on top of fashion is because, as a stay-at-home mom, I have to look at my house. all. day. long. If I am going to be in my home for a majority of the time, I would like to have something happy and attractive to look at. Since I don't stand in front of a mirror all day long, I don't have the same concern about what I'm wearing.

{3) Being fashionable can be time-consuming and costly. The trends are constantly changing. I'm in the multi-week process of watching a documentary on minimalism on Netflix, and one of the interview subjects noted that, in the past, people only needed to be concerned about two seasons--warm (spring/summer) and cool (fall/winter). Now, the fashion industry breaks the year into fifty-two seasons. Fifty-two!! In order to stay on top of them, I'd have to invest a lot of time and effort and, frankly, I don't want to. All the privileges that go with those being a wife and mom are just higher priorities to me. If I do have extra time, I'd rather spend it writing (here!), curled up with a good book, or working on making our home a more beautiful space. And, of course, there's also the financial cost of keeping up with the trends. It can get out of hand. (Trust me, I know!)

{4} Fashion, like anything else when given too much of a priority, can become an idol. When I first memorized the Ten Commandments in elementary school, I always thought that the first commandment, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me," was cake. I mean, I didn't know a single person who worshiped a golden calf, Baal, Zeus, or any other false god, and I was certain I would never bow down to any of those silly things or ideas. It took me too many years to figure out that I didn't have the first commandment in the bag... In fact, it may actually be one of the most difficult of God's commands. Anything--our kids, money, looks, etc.--can become an idol if we allow it to take our minds and hearts off Jesus. We do need to get dressed every day, though, and I believe that fashion, like anything else, can be fun and harmless in moderation. I just try not to let my mind park on it too much. If it's not overly important to God, it shouldn't be overly important to us, right?

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NIV)

However.

I mentioned in a previous post that, although I'm very thankful I've never had to experience postpartum depression, I definitely do get in a post-baby funk--probably caused by long-term lack of sleep (I have rough nights beginning in my third trimester of pregnancy), hormones (hormones, hormones!), and just trying to adjust to a new normal. Shall we call them baby blues, for lack of a better term? In an (oddly chosen) effort to snap myself out of them, I decided to tackle my wardrobe. (I'm not going to analyze why my wacky brain settled on this project. Sometimes, I think it's best just to go with it.) Now, my ideal closet would consist of carefully curated pieces that are designed to mix and match with each other, so I can make lots of outfits with only a few tops, bottoms, and accessories (and fabulous dresses, of course). My actual closet, though, is pretty much the opposite: it's crammed full of random mish-mash, some of it, although thankfully not much, heralding back to my high school days.

One tool that I considered using to build the minimalist wardrobe of my dreams is Stitch Fix. It seems like everyone and their mother are talking about this service. If you haven't heard of Stitch Fix, it is a personal styling service (for women and men) to which you can subscribe. To get started, you fill out a questionnaire that covers things like your measurements and personal style. You can share a Pinterest board with outfits you like. You are also given a form on which you can mention any special occasions you might have coming up. You pay a $20 styling fee, and about a week later, you receive a box (your "fix") with five items in it. You can try them on, and if you don't like them (or if they don't fit), you can send them back. If you decide to keep anything, the $20 styling fee is deducted from the purchase price of the item(s) you are keeping. If you keep it all, Stitch Fix offers a deep discount on the total price. If you decide to send it all back, you are out the $20. I decided not to try Stitch Fix, though, because I felt like it had the potential to be quite costly, and I would just be adding more bulk and randomness to my wardrobe.

What I want is a guide, a plan. Someone to do the research for me and to tell me exactly what to buy and where to find it. And that's when I discovered Get Your Pretty On.

To be continued...