¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. Matthew 6:19-20 (NIV)

For as long as I can remember, my parents have loved antiques and collecting things. Consequently, when my brother and I were little, we were toted along to a lot of antique stores. Antique stores, by nature, are not fun places for children to be. Most of the items perched on the shelves were completely foreign. When I asked my dad what they were, half the time he would laugh and tell me it was a “kid whomper.” (Of course, he was teasing. Our family always referred to these comments as his "German sense of humor.") My brother and I were strictly forbidden from touching anything. Now, if you have small children or have spent time any around them, you know how easy it is for them to keep their fingers away from interesting objects. (Cough, cough.) And if we did slip up, not only were there reminders of the “kid whompers,” but there were also glares from cross-looking shopkeepers, who were convinced that we would either break or try to steal something. A musty smell permeated most of these antique shops, which would leave me with an awful headache pounding away between my braids.

It wasn’t all bad though. Grandma K., my dad's mom and favorite grandparent, accompanied us a lot of the time. She would buy me and my brother bags of popcorn or shiny red packages of Skittles to munch on while the adults slowly meandered through the aisles. Browsing the antiquities with my parents was sometimes a mini-lesson in History. I knew the term "Depression ware" and who Marilyn Monroe was long before my friends at school. My brother and I also found ways to entertain ourselves. In the larger antique malls, the ones with lots of aisles and side rooms, we would play variations of hide-and-seek… being careful not to touch anything, of course.As we grew older, we learned that antiquing was much more interesting when we actually had something to look for, so we started collecting things. My brother had an egg beater collection, and I collected first-edition Nancy Drew books. When I was in late elementary school and early middle school, the old Shirley Temple movies from the 1930s were being re-released on VHS. Grandma K. remembered them fondly from her own childhood and bought them for me. I thought Shirley was adorable, and I started collecting Shirley Temple memorabilia. (I wanted to collect the composition dolls, but those were several hundred dollars, so I stuck with pins and glassware.) 

I enjoyed collecting modern items as well. From toddlerhood on, I received Precious Moments figurines from both sets of my grandparents and my parents. I just loved the sweet images they portrayed as well as their Christian messages. I joined the Precious Moments Collectors’ Club when I was old enough, and I saved up my money for figurines that I thought were especially charming. Before long, the curio cabinet in my room was overflowing with those pastel-colored figures with their tear-drop eyes.

By 1999/2000, I had begun to be interested in more “wordly” things, and my preoccupation with perfection had taken root. This is suuuuuuper-embarrasssing to admit, but I do it because I love you. 🙂 I was a Britney Spears fan. A major Britney Spears fan. In my silver Mercury Sable, I cranked “Oops!…I Did It Again.” (And, yes, it’s incredibly sad that I know exactly how to punctuate that song title). When I was in college, I saw her in concert a couple of times, and I collected anything Britney-related, including posters, magazines, and fashion dolls. I even bought one of those life-sized cardboard stand-up displays.

Now, many years later, I’ve tried to analyze my Britney Spears obsession, and I think I’ve got it figured out. At the time, I really did enjoy listening to her music. It was upbeat and edgy (for my standards, at least). More notably, however, Britney was the “it” girl back at that time, and in my mind she was the epitome of beauty. Wanting to be perfect in every way, I though that if I looked, dressed, and acted like her, I would be beautiful too. At the time, I told myself that the dolls, magazines, and posters were an investment (what?!), but I think I was actually feeling lonely and had a bit too much time and money on my hands. It was also the point in my life in which I was the farthest from God, and Britney had become an idol for me. I was trying to fill a Jesus-shaped hole with an idol and material things.

Now, seventeen or so years later, I am delighted to report that I have completely recovered from my addiction to all things relating to the blonde pop star. I am devoted to making my home a loving and beautiful place for my family, which includes decluttering and tidying our space. As much as I like to point the finger at other people (the boys and their toys, for example), I know I am just as much to blame, if not more so, for the overflow of stuff around here.

Do you know that scene in Home Alone when Kevin goes down to the basement, and the furnace opens its fiery irony mouth and laughs maniacally while Kevin runs back upstairs in terror? Well, I’ve got a monster in my basement too. But mine is in the form of several large white boxes labelled “Britney Spears Dolls” and "Britney Spears Magazines." Every time I pass that part of my basement, I can’t help but mentally kick myself. What was I thinking? At the peak of my collecting, I had amassed forty-five fashion dolls, not to mention Britney’s huge pink tour bus. My stomach twists itself into knots when I think about how much money I spent curating that collection. Those boxes are a giant physical manifestation of my own foolishness. 

So. What on earth do I do with this ridiculous Britney Spears collection?

{display it?}

I'm not a fan anymore, and I don't get any enjoyment out of my collection, so I don't want to display it. Besides, any attempt at doing so would most certainly be tacky and embarrassing. 

{rummage sale or VarageSale?}

I don’t think my collection would do well in our annual rummage sale or on VarageSale. Either people would be uninterested altogether, or, if I could sell a few, I’d probably only get a fraction of what I paid in the first place.

{thrift store or Goodwill?}

I could just be done with the whole thing and drop them off at a thrift store or Goodwill, but I’ve been to the Goodwill Outlet, and I’ve seen the fate of undesirable goods. I spent too much time and money on this collection for them to end up there.

{eBay?}

I ultimately decided to sell my collection on eBay. Why?

{1} eBay has a vast outreach, and I can reach a lot more customers on that platform versus the small number of locals I’d reach with our rummage sale or VarageSale. I don’t do international shipping (too much expense and hassle), but there are still Britney fans throughout the continental U.S. who are interested in the dolls. (I have a doll posted on there right now that has 1 bid and 8 people watching it.)

{2} Once I have the template made for selling a doll, posting others for sale is pretty easy and painless. I just have to upload different pictures and tweak the wording on my listing. (Let me know if you’re interested in a tutorial on how to sell things on eBay. Once you get set-up, it’s not hard.)

{3} I believe eBay will give me the greatest return for my dolls, even after the eBay and PayPal fees. You’ve got to hand it to Ms. Spears. Her fans are still pretty devoted and will shell out a decent amount of money for her merchandise. I don’t want to compare the numbers of how much I spent versus how much I am getting in return (I’d probably cry), but I think I’m close to getting my money back.

I only post one doll at a time (to avoid the request for combined shipping cost as well as confusion), so it is a slow process. If I keep plugging away at it, though, I know I’ll be Lucky to be free of these Toxic Britney Spears dolls one of these days. And I will also be Stronger than yesterday. (I could do this all day, guys.)

I’ve also tried to use eBay to whittle down my collection of Precious Moments. (At this time, I’m only ridding myself of the ones that I received as a member of the Precious Moments Collectors’ Club or those I purchased myself because I thought they were cute; that is, the figurines to which I don’t feel sentimentally attached.) The results of my eBay Precious Moments sales have been significantly less gratifying. I don’t think I could give these things away, honestly. If I do sell one, I get almost no return after the eBay and PayPal fees, and I have to keep in mind that my time is worth more than my past obsessions. For right now, I’m focusing on getting rid of the Britney Spears dolls, mainly because they’re taking up more space, and I can actually get a decent price on those.

Obviously, I regret some of my "earthly treasure" hoarding. However, I don't believe that all collections are malevolent, even though some of mine got to that point. Collections can be totally harmless... even wonderful. When I think of people who have worthy collections, the wife of one of our former pastors immediately comes to mind. She collects nativities and, if my memory serves me, has hundreds of them. Come Christmastime, she sets them up all over her house and invites people over to view them. There’s so much loveliness in this collection. Not only does her collection represent and celebrate the birth of our Savior, but she also uses them to connect with people. This past Christmas, her granddaughter helped her set them up (can you imagine how much fun that must have been for her granddaughter?), and she is also blessing the community by inviting them into her home to view them.

I always thought that I'd have a daughter, who might enjoy reading my Nancy Drew books, watching Shirley Temple movies with me, or displaying a few Precious Moments in her bedroom. (I never had any dreams of her playing with the Britney Spears dolls, haha!) Alas, it looks like I am going to be daughter-less. Jesus asks us to store up our treasures for ourselves in heaven by loving God and others first. I'm going to focus on doing just that and ridding myself of my "earthly treasures." However, if I ever find a worthy collection, one that helps others get to know Jesus or help me connect with people, I will go ahead and embrace it. Because that's My Prerogative. (Sorry! That was the last one, I promise!)